I have been gone for a long while. The truth is, the truth hurts. The internet is a very public place and when I started writing and posting, I didn't fully grasp who exactly would read this. Sometimes the feedback was really sweet and sometimes, not so much. I hadn't realized how much it actually hurt my feelings until I had finished deleting everything from the page. That was when I decided I needed to suck all the poison out of my life. It went something like this;
1. Get the victim away from the snake: I tried to ignore it. One of those mind games that go like, "If I don't look at it, it won't hurt me or I won't feel the effects." But it still stung and it wasn't going away quick enough.
2. Remove clothing or constricting items: I deleted the posts, realizing that if it was still up, comments could still be made. I had to protect myself. My opinions and thoughts are mine and while I openly accept criticism daily, this hurt because it was personal and I really took it to heart.
3. Minimize activity: I found new activities that were more private and much more rewarding than surfing the web. I found myself becoming a great runner and an alright cook when I really put my mind to it!
4. Do not cut the bite site or use your mouth to suck out the poison: There was no use in saying anything about the comments. Carrying on was the best thing I could do. I feel the need to speak now after I feel different about the situation and have forgiven completely.
5. Clean the bite site with soap and water: Surrounding myself when bright, shiny new people. Making more friends, thinking double, even triple before I speak, working on being a better person and friend to everyone I come in contact with. Even if that's complimenting a stranger or holding a door.
6. Splint the bitten limb to prevent motion: There has been so much time between when I've last posted, I needed that time to situate myself and make sure that if it happens again, I'll be ready and okay with it.
7. Keep the victim calm and protected from the environment: I'm back but my guard is up and it will forever be with those who felt the need to impose their negativity on me.
I'm not upset anymore. It was probably not even as big of a deal as it was when it happened. But I did what I had to do to protect myself from getting hurt. I'll be happily posting when I can. In the meantime you should read this post about a similar subject.
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