unmatch

There is a still-water moment that happens when you part ways from a significant other. No ripples, no waves, just stillness. For a bit of time, this is okay. It's nice to wade and to push and pull your limbs through the water feeling it's newness all over you. Then, for myself, the calm became questionable. The still, cool waters suddenly seemed dark and dangerous. Did something just touch my foot? GET OUT OF THE WATER SOMETHING JUST BRUSHED BY MY FOOT. And then, I joined match.com.

I feel like I can not go any farther without stating a sort of disclaimer to this post. I know many, many people who have met, dated, married and had children with significant others that they met online. Why else would I give it a try if not for the bountiful, happy experiences others have had. Now, with that said...

I was on match.com for a total of 20 hours. It was a very stressful 20 hours. I didn't tell anyone about my venture to online dating. At home one Friday night 2 spring seasons ago I felt optimistic and curious enough to check the site out. I wasn't dating anyone at the time and had 2 girlfriends who used the site to meet men in the area and who were "exploring" the idea to date some of them but none of them at the same time. I created my profile which felt a lot like filling out my first Facebook page years prior and waiting for a friend request or any activity to take place on the page. I clicked around some but had a lingering feeling of guilt as I would browse through men who my first and only impression was their photo and their username. I didn't want to marry bballstar4573 because god, what an awful monogram that would be (kidding.) and guy with that tunic-like shirt on the beach, you're screaming Ted Bundy to my woman spidey senses. Alas, I went to bed.

I woke up to emails, winks, messages and the most appalling attempts to get my attention via bad joke or dirty joke in the subject line. Suddenly I felt like these people were invading my space. It may help for you to know that I am not one of those people who see someone calling my phone and say, "Oh it's so-and-so I'll call them back." No. I pick up the phone and say, "Hi so-and-so I will call you back." I can't ignore people, I just cannot. So one by one, everyone got their messages answered usually with a creative response like, "Dear bballstar4573- I live in Manhattan therefore a Florida relationship is not currently in the cards for me. Best of luck, you'll find someone great. - Antoinette." It was overwhelming and eventually after an hour or so, I just logged out and off. But not before Troy sent me a message.

Troy was 30 something, seemed fit and friendly. He also was living in Chelsea and had a car (because he offered to pick me up for our date so I'm assuming) which I figured a good sign if you say you're doing okay professionally. I thought of all the tips and tricks I picked up on 60 seconds and Oprah like meet in public, have someone check in on you, keep it to 1-2 drinks max, etc. So aside from my overwhelming feeling that this wasn't for me I thought, you committed and maybe this is the man of your dreams, go on one date. Well…

Troy was nice. Polite. Tall and looked just as fit as his picture. But as we chatted I was having a hard time following really where he was going. I didn't feel like there were enough details in his descriptions or emotions in where he grew up or went to college. College by the way was Ohio State, downfall (PSU grad here) but at least we had the Big 10 in common. Did I mentioned he played football? Did I mention I secretly know a pretty good amount about college football? But Troy didn't know this so as he spoke I ran stats in my head and came up with nothing. Then the most fantastic thing ever happened, he asked me…

"Can I see your feet?"

I like to sometimes have Carrie moments (sex and the city) but keep them to myself but this one literally felt like it was a written tv set. My what? My who? Get me out of here. Troy and I never spoke again.

Sometimes when Chris has to work late I play a head game like I live in this apartment alone. My mind goes back to when I was single and living with a roommate and all the guys we talked about and those insane first dates which were 80% bad and 100% memorable. Here's what I always land on,

I can not wait until Chris gets home.