The first time it happened was the summer after my senior year in high school. Sitting around a bonfire I was told 3 times in a row that I was severely unapproachable. I was laughing inside, I couldn't help it. When 18 year old guys have their first actual conversation with you and decide that you aren't nearly as frightening as they thought you were, it makes you want to smack them upside their heads. Of course I'm not you idiots, I'm just not into your cliquey bullshit.
Fast forward to college. As my friends were hit on at bars and parties more often than not, I was approached last. Usually by guys a lot older than me and who were well into their 5th or 6th beer. Why? See above. After a few moments of conversation they realize that I'm not going to shoot them down or put my cigarette out on their forearms (I don't smoke but this is my post so let's pretend). Before I've said that people tell me more information than normal and with that is their common confession. Here's a few I've heard:
-You're not nearly as mean as you look.
-If I didn't know you, I would never approach you.
-You really enjoy calling people out don't you?
-Why do you look so pissed?
-I thought you hated me.
My college friends were extremely approachable. I felt sort of left out in college being the girl who wasn't getting bought free drinks all the time. The place that I was hit on the most was at work. I waitressed at a sports bar in my college town where hundreds came to watch football, hockey and any other sport of the season. I had to smile, I had to flirt, I had to deal with bad pick up lines - my rent depended on it. Now I understand why this was the place where numbers were left on napkins and receipts, I had to emulate that easy going, approachable girl - I learned to pretend.
My friends now have the same reputation I have as the unapproachable girl. I take great comfort in this. I like that they don't dumb themselves down so that guys will approach them or that they have no problem calling you out for your cheesy pick up line. If you can get past our harsh glares and bouts of laughter you will find a group of friends who want nothing more than to go out, have fun, make new friends and laugh until sunrise. So if you do actual spot me out, make sure you come say hello… I promise I won't make you feel like an ass, unless you deserve it.
Fast forward to college. As my friends were hit on at bars and parties more often than not, I was approached last. Usually by guys a lot older than me and who were well into their 5th or 6th beer. Why? See above. After a few moments of conversation they realize that I'm not going to shoot them down or put my cigarette out on their forearms (I don't smoke but this is my post so let's pretend). Before I've said that people tell me more information than normal and with that is their common confession. Here's a few I've heard:
-You're not nearly as mean as you look.
-If I didn't know you, I would never approach you.
-You really enjoy calling people out don't you?
-Why do you look so pissed?
-I thought you hated me.
My college friends were extremely approachable. I felt sort of left out in college being the girl who wasn't getting bought free drinks all the time. The place that I was hit on the most was at work. I waitressed at a sports bar in my college town where hundreds came to watch football, hockey and any other sport of the season. I had to smile, I had to flirt, I had to deal with bad pick up lines - my rent depended on it. Now I understand why this was the place where numbers were left on napkins and receipts, I had to emulate that easy going, approachable girl - I learned to pretend.
My friends now have the same reputation I have as the unapproachable girl. I take great comfort in this. I like that they don't dumb themselves down so that guys will approach them or that they have no problem calling you out for your cheesy pick up line. If you can get past our harsh glares and bouts of laughter you will find a group of friends who want nothing more than to go out, have fun, make new friends and laugh until sunrise. So if you do actual spot me out, make sure you come say hello… I promise I won't make you feel like an ass, unless you deserve it.
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