The moment before you know pain will hit. Your heart quickens, every muscle in your body tenses up, you can hear your pulse in your ears, you feel it in your throat. Adrenaline kicks in and you feel a rush to the head, a flip to your stomach. You close your eyes and you wait.
It hits. It's horrendous. It's the worst pain you've felt in your entire life and you are sure that this is the most pain you will ever feel. You're flooded with emotions of fear and agony. You yell, you scream, moan, shout, cry, sob, anything to release the tension that filled your muscles moments before and fills your body now with pain.
You breathe, you react, you act. You analyze the damage. You put yourself through an instant physical and mental pop quiz. Where am I, who am I, can I hear, see, taste, count to 10. Flex your fingers, flex your toes, work into the center of your body from the furthest points. Wrists and ankles, elbows and knees, hips and shoulders, head and heart. And suddenly you begin to search for a solution to end the pain or subdue it.
Slow down.
Haven't you already began to forget about the initial pain? The first hit that knocked the wind out of you and why you tensed up in the first place. Why is it that only moments after pain subsides that our minds, our bodies, begin to forget the sensation of pain? Is it in fact a "mind over matter" type of situation where instantly we move mentally to the furthest point away from the pain? Do those with a greater pain index just have the ability to get to that point in our minds more quickly than others? Do some stay in the place where pain resonates longer?
I am both agile and clumsy. I can walk up to you without you noticing because my feet barely make any sound but as I'm walking the chance of me first clipping my elbow on a door frame or twisting my ankle are more than likely. I am emotionally balanced in the same way. I am stubborn yet sensitive. You can challenge my beliefs and question my intentions but look at me wrong and it's o-v-e-r. I have gotten myself to a point where I feel I am able to recover more quickly from physical pain. Most of it has to do with moving away from home and having to deal with incidents with responsibility because no one else is there if I have a meltdown. I need to get myself to the point where I analyze the damage quicker so that no further pain ensues. Here's where I struggle though, I am unable to get myself to a point where I recover from emotional pain. My odds on a broken bone and a broken heart are on the bone. I will be able to forget the physical pain quickly but the emotional pain will pull me down, toss me back up and fill me with anxiety and sobering distress. I remember my parents reminding me that "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" in middle school when I was having a hard time dealing with your typical mean girl hell. I remember looking at them and wanting to call their bullshit. I am strong enough for sticks and stones, it's words that go straight through me.
It hits. It's horrendous. It's the worst pain you've felt in your entire life and you are sure that this is the most pain you will ever feel. You're flooded with emotions of fear and agony. You yell, you scream, moan, shout, cry, sob, anything to release the tension that filled your muscles moments before and fills your body now with pain.
You breathe, you react, you act. You analyze the damage. You put yourself through an instant physical and mental pop quiz. Where am I, who am I, can I hear, see, taste, count to 10. Flex your fingers, flex your toes, work into the center of your body from the furthest points. Wrists and ankles, elbows and knees, hips and shoulders, head and heart. And suddenly you begin to search for a solution to end the pain or subdue it.
Slow down.
Haven't you already began to forget about the initial pain? The first hit that knocked the wind out of you and why you tensed up in the first place. Why is it that only moments after pain subsides that our minds, our bodies, begin to forget the sensation of pain? Is it in fact a "mind over matter" type of situation where instantly we move mentally to the furthest point away from the pain? Do those with a greater pain index just have the ability to get to that point in our minds more quickly than others? Do some stay in the place where pain resonates longer?
I am both agile and clumsy. I can walk up to you without you noticing because my feet barely make any sound but as I'm walking the chance of me first clipping my elbow on a door frame or twisting my ankle are more than likely. I am emotionally balanced in the same way. I am stubborn yet sensitive. You can challenge my beliefs and question my intentions but look at me wrong and it's o-v-e-r. I have gotten myself to a point where I feel I am able to recover more quickly from physical pain. Most of it has to do with moving away from home and having to deal with incidents with responsibility because no one else is there if I have a meltdown. I need to get myself to the point where I analyze the damage quicker so that no further pain ensues. Here's where I struggle though, I am unable to get myself to a point where I recover from emotional pain. My odds on a broken bone and a broken heart are on the bone. I will be able to forget the physical pain quickly but the emotional pain will pull me down, toss me back up and fill me with anxiety and sobering distress. I remember my parents reminding me that "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" in middle school when I was having a hard time dealing with your typical mean girl hell. I remember looking at them and wanting to call their bullshit. I am strong enough for sticks and stones, it's words that go straight through me.
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