I haven't made anything in over 2 weeks. I step into the kitchen and the
only thing I've been able to grasp is a glass of ice water. That's all
I'm capable for right now. My love of cooking and baking blossomed over
the past two years by trying new recipes, trusting that messing up is
okay and let's be honest, having someone to help me and feed at the end
of the day. I've stopped feeding myself by means of my kitchen.
I feed myself by waking up each day and smiling. Making myself smile first before anything else like a crazy person who has lost their damn mind. I smile no matter what - sun up, sun down, rain or shine. For a week I woke up at 4am everyday to smile. If I start with a smile, the day is already on its way up. It's my body saying, "Okay, another day. Be grateful, be honest. Try." It's my mind saying, "You're okay. Even if you aren't, that's okay. You'll get there."
I feed myself by riding my bike. The movement helps me. While everything around me seems to be shaky and scary I was able to do this thing. I was able to pedal my legs and trust that my body would take me there, even if my mind didn't want to. There is so much to be said about physically being able to do something that emotionally you can hardly handle.
I feed myself by practicing yoga. I practice breathing everyday, all day.
Others are feeding me. Friends who ask how I'm doing. Hugs and hellos stitch me together. Family to lean on. I have the strongest people around me, it's like being fed steak and potatoes everyday. Take a bite of their kind hearts and rebuild yourself.
I had a taste of a coworkers quiche yesterday and it made me long for the quiche I make myself. But I'm not going to force it. I'm not ready but when I am I know that the ingredients can be found and the time will be set aside. For now I'm working on my no-bake recipe.
I feed myself by waking up each day and smiling. Making myself smile first before anything else like a crazy person who has lost their damn mind. I smile no matter what - sun up, sun down, rain or shine. For a week I woke up at 4am everyday to smile. If I start with a smile, the day is already on its way up. It's my body saying, "Okay, another day. Be grateful, be honest. Try." It's my mind saying, "You're okay. Even if you aren't, that's okay. You'll get there."
I feed myself by riding my bike. The movement helps me. While everything around me seems to be shaky and scary I was able to do this thing. I was able to pedal my legs and trust that my body would take me there, even if my mind didn't want to. There is so much to be said about physically being able to do something that emotionally you can hardly handle.
I feed myself by practicing yoga. I practice breathing everyday, all day.
Others are feeding me. Friends who ask how I'm doing. Hugs and hellos stitch me together. Family to lean on. I have the strongest people around me, it's like being fed steak and potatoes everyday. Take a bite of their kind hearts and rebuild yourself.
I had a taste of a coworkers quiche yesterday and it made me long for the quiche I make myself. But I'm not going to force it. I'm not ready but when I am I know that the ingredients can be found and the time will be set aside. For now I'm working on my no-bake recipe.
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