need (noun): a requirement, necessary duty, or obligation.
want (verb): to wish, need, crave, demand or desire.
I've been placing my life into two categories. Two neat bins or boxes. I like to think of them sitting next to each other and placing physical notes in each when thoughts arise. White slips of paper with black ink. The box on the left reads, "want." The box on the right reads, "need."
As a thought arises, it gets written down and placed in its box. Sometimes the want items end up in the need box and later need to be sorted out. Sometimes the opposite happens. This breaks down to the most simple means of life lately. Do I need or want that second cup of coffee this morning? Do I need or want to pick up the phone and call him? Do I need or want that beautiful Helmut Lang jacket… well obviously that's a need.
Demand is such a jarring word. Jarred is such a wonderful description of what I feel right now. Demanding something from someone is so much different than getting something that is necessary. The definitions themselves speak volumes. Everything to describe "want" feels forced with an action that is against a will.
Maybe I didn't want to be sitting on the grass yesterday having a conversation with a friend about how hard things can be sometimes. How people get sick, relationships end, friendships become strained and uncontrollable shifts happen within ourselves. I didn't want to admit that this is maybe what I needed. I didn't want to make you a grass ring to put on your finger because I wanted it to be him and not you. But I needed to be sitting there and I needed you. I needed to have that conversation because I need to feel it all. Maybe I wanted something that I didn't need. Maybe you need something that you didn't want.
Thank you for helping me off the grass. Thank you for helping me place the slips of papers in their boxes.
want (verb): to wish, need, crave, demand or desire.
I've been placing my life into two categories. Two neat bins or boxes. I like to think of them sitting next to each other and placing physical notes in each when thoughts arise. White slips of paper with black ink. The box on the left reads, "want." The box on the right reads, "need."
As a thought arises, it gets written down and placed in its box. Sometimes the want items end up in the need box and later need to be sorted out. Sometimes the opposite happens. This breaks down to the most simple means of life lately. Do I need or want that second cup of coffee this morning? Do I need or want to pick up the phone and call him? Do I need or want that beautiful Helmut Lang jacket… well obviously that's a need.
Demand is such a jarring word. Jarred is such a wonderful description of what I feel right now. Demanding something from someone is so much different than getting something that is necessary. The definitions themselves speak volumes. Everything to describe "want" feels forced with an action that is against a will.
Maybe I didn't want to be sitting on the grass yesterday having a conversation with a friend about how hard things can be sometimes. How people get sick, relationships end, friendships become strained and uncontrollable shifts happen within ourselves. I didn't want to admit that this is maybe what I needed. I didn't want to make you a grass ring to put on your finger because I wanted it to be him and not you. But I needed to be sitting there and I needed you. I needed to have that conversation because I need to feel it all. Maybe I wanted something that I didn't need. Maybe you need something that you didn't want.
Thank you for helping me off the grass. Thank you for helping me place the slips of papers in their boxes.
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