subway soiree

I am standing on the platform at 23rd street eating a rose macaron, my favorite flavor from my most adored cafe. Whenever I have something to celebrate, I turn to this particular rose macaron. I find myself visiting this cafe quite often, dedicating a macaron to relationship milestones, personal achievements such as making a new friend or even bad days, the irony of honoring the survival of a particularly hellish 12 hours. 

I finish my macaron and shift my bag from one shoulder to the next, careful not to crush the neat stack of papers that signify a new professional beginning. The bottle of champagne, a gift from a colleague, was not intended for this particular celebration but just maybe. It’s cold enough that I can see my breath but not cold enough to make me want to hibernate. However, It’s hard to tell when my body is pulsing with equal parts of excitement and fear. 

The news is sacred and precious to me in this moment. I am doing normal New York things but I feel anything but normal. I look around at others standing with me on the platform thinking somehow they know what’s in my bag and understand that I’ve just been handed a fresh start and a new aspiration. The train pulls into the station and I step into my car wishing for one more rose macaron but quickly reminding myself not to overdo it, not to jinx my ambitious undertaking.

perfumed dreams

I write about almost everything here, recipes, relationships, random stuff that flows through my mind but what I never write about is work. Sort of odd having that I spend hours upon hours doing what I do each day. 2 years ago I took on a new job working in the beauty industry as a packaging designer. Everyday since then, I've felt like the luckiest girl on the planet. Yes, sometimes I'm stressed to teeth-grinding capacity but through it all I can honestly say I've found my place as a designer.

I spent two years on ck one Calvin Klein fragrances and color cosmetics. I had to start from scratch. For the three years prior my expertise was in the beauty of paper and printing. Truth be told, I had only a slight idea of what was going on for a good amount of time. I felt like I was floating and bobbing to and fro meetings, where projects moved along quickly and projects were planned 2 years out. 2 whole years.

Then, something even more amazing happened. I discovered Alexander Wang. Suddenly fashion made sense to me. I understood the moment I stepped into my first piece, this was exactly what fashion and beauty meant to me. Alexander Wang was appointed the creative director of Balenciaga in Fall of 2012. The house moved to New York from Paris and the fragrance contract followed. Cue whispers around the office for a new team being built. Enter me, stage left, asking my creative directors to be nominated for the role.

Two years ago I would have never taken this step. Going to both creative directors and explaining how honored I'd be to even be considered for the position took confidence that I found working for 2 years under the ck one Calvin Klein brand. I am a product of hard work, long hours and an art director who let me sink and swim and find my own way.

The goal, with every design that I touch is that it makes someone feel beautiful and good about themselves. That the scent should trigger a moment in time where they were over the moon. That the packaging is something to cherish, something to keep on their dresser rather than in the drawer. I'm honored to have many wonderful mentors here at work who constantly push my boundaries and invite me to go beyond what feels safe and neutral. To be innovative and honest.

I cannot wait to share the new designs with you for Balenciaga fragrances in the future. They all come from a place of love. Love born out of coming to work everyday and being excited to get started. And with that, here I go.

Illustration, my own.

busy bee

The New York Times recently wrote an article about all of us being oh-so-busy. The most alarming thing about this article was that I felt like I was reading an excerpt from my daily dialogue. I've found since moving to New York City that I've often been too busy to go to the gym, eat healthy, dress well, see friends, see family, take a vacation, take a lunch, take a coffee break and/or date. After reading I made a pact with myself that whenever anyone asks me how I've been or how my day was, I cannot respond with "busy." Even if it was the most busy day of my entire life, I have to find another word to describe my day or current state. Being busy has become my default state and an excuse for anything I don't want to do. There are 24 hours in the day, for heaven's sake no one is that busy.

There are times to buckle down but there are also times where stepping outside for lunch or leaving on time so that you can take a run around the neighborhood can be the most important and inspirational. I owe some of this to the culture around my job. I'm told often to take a break or leave so that I am well rested or can enjoy the beautiful day. Would you ever hear a heart surgeon complain about how busy they are? I'm not saving lives designing perfume and cosmetic packaging so why am I complaining and using "busy" as an excuse to avoid having to put in extra work or time with friends and family?

Yesterday was educational. I collaborated with a sister company on a project, spoke to a vendor about the best way to achieve a design, searched for images for an upcoming campaign, organized glass inspiration and stepped out for a 45 minute lunch where I sat in Herald Square and wrote a postcard out to my family. If I would have said my day was busy then no one would have wanted to hear me complain about having to do all the things above. Busy seems to have a negative outlook. I don't want to be busy anymore, I want to be involved.

anonymous design

When I was younger and still living with my parents I always thought in situations that didn't please me, "I will remember this for my own kids, I will never do that to them." Even then I knew I was being dramatic and usually I was able to see the point they were trying to make. Now that I'm at the old age of 25 I'm thinking about that situation in a different light. I'm talking about a situation that I bet 99% of designers face. The "when I'm an art director/creative director I will never do that to my designers/team" situation.

Have you ever had one of your bosses/managers/directors do something or say something that either made you want to fall to the floor in tears in frustration or hurl a desk across the room in anger? It's not criticism I'm talking about. I'm talking about owning your work and getting credit where credit is due. Let me set the scene for you.

It's understood that when you work for a brand that you will not be able to sign your work like a painter or sculptor would. You acknowledge that you work for Company X and that Company X will (hopefully) get praised for the project you slaved and obsessed over. Your name will not appear at the end of the commercial, at the bottom poster, on the lower right hand corner of the box. But throughout the company and to those in the industry, you will shine. How naive for a young designer like myself to think. I never realized how hurtful taking credit for the work of others could be until I had been in both situations.

As I stood in front of my concepts and designs this week in front of first my art director, then my senior director, then my marketing director and still more directors and presidents to follow I realized something. Those "fall to the floor in tears" situations swing both ways. Both when someone takes complete credit for the designs you've created and when someone 2, 3 or 4 levels above you looks you straight in the eye and says, "Wow. Wonderful. These are great." They pull others over, they talk about you in other meetings, they are happy that you are there to be a part of their team. Learning from now both situations I am putting this in the back of my head for when I reach my own design dream job as an art director one day.

Give credit to where credit is do. Celebrate those who did the work. Acknowledge their work. You have no idea how beat down you can get when the opposite happens.

I left work and cried. Out of relief. Out of complete happiness. The moment where my art director pointed to me when her boss asked who had worked on the concept. You have no idea how grateful I was for that moment. Those moments make me want to push forward even harder, to really shine even brighter next time. You could have hated it all but the fact that you said it was my work went above and beyond. Thank you.