here & there

They say "location, location, location."

Well, they have a point. Do you ever stop in the midst of your busy day and fully grasp where you are? Not your work, not your family or friends, not what you are wearing or what you might be chowing down on at lunch but where. The places you've been to get to where you are in the present. As you read this, are you in the suburbs, a city, the country? In an office, house, apartment, school room, park? Are you somewhere you love or are you somewhere you hate? Maybe it's just somewhere to get you to the next somewhere that you'd rather be.

I am here. In my apartment in New York City. I'm half sticking to my chair with a fan fulling blasting on my face. It smells faintly of pineapple and shampoo. My hair is half dry, blowing behind me. When I think of how many other people around me are doing simple things like tucking their children into bed, checking locked doors, kissing their loved ones, having another beer with friends - it's calming. Suddenly everything seems a bit smaller and more attainable. Life doesn't seem so overwhelming and my to-do list, only half checked off, doesn't taunt me. I realize that I am. I am here. While there are things that I've bitched about today, reasons why I'd like to pick up my shit and go somewhere else, things that made me what to toss my arms up and scream, it all seems far away now.

This is something I do before I go to bed each night. I stop, I realize, I breathe. I think about everything around me. I zoom out to the people around me. Zoom out again to the whole city, the state, the continent. I am here, I did what I could today and that's enough. I write my 5 blessings down, put my notebook back in my drawer and turn off the light.

I'd love to hear where you are while you read this.