you can't always get what you want

I have a bad habit of not getting what I want. I know, it sounds ridiculous but here’s what usually happens. 

• Step one: I order a juice at my local bodega.
• Step two: I get my juice and take a sip.
• Step three: It’s not what I ordered, not only that - it tastes really bad.
• Step four: I don’t say anything, I leave the bodega both unhappy with my bad tasting juice.
• Step five: I drink my bad tasting juice and regret it for hours and wonder why, I didn’t just ask for a new juice.

Does this happen to anyone else? You can apply it to any part of your life and maybe sometimes you just go with something and it’s not even what you want. The worst part is it’s always in my control, always. But rather than saying, “Excuse me, this is not what I ordered. May I please have a new juice?” I walk away feeling regretful and upset at myself for not speaking up. I’ve done this so many times that I’ve lost count. Most recently on a trip to Bloomingdale’s to purchase a new skincare product where I ended up with a different product than I went in to purchase, something I did not like, spent more money than I wanted and ended up with the same terrible regret. WHY DO I DO THIS?

Part one of the conclusions I've come to: I’m worried I’m going to hurt someone’s feelings.

I go see the bodega guy everyday. He is so happy and sweet. It gets very busy in there and sometimes people make mistakes. I also have witnessed people being so utterly rude at this place that I’m fearful that I too will look rude if I return my juice. Because they will then dump it out, waste all those vegetables and fruits, and next time I come in, I’ll wonder if they will then think of me as “the woman who returned her juice.” This is so beyond ridiculous.

Part two of the conclusions I've come to:  Everyone hates that picky, pushy person in line.

I’ve witnessed my fair share of people while living in NYC that are so beyond picky that it holds up the line and makes everyone else uncomfortable in a 10 feet radius. I know that by saying to my Bloomingdale’s beauty advisor, “No thank you, I came in for this product and am not interested in that product,” that she wouldn’t hate me or find me picky but at the end of the day, she’s supposed to be the expert. However, she is also a sales woman.

So here’s what I’m doing. 

I returned the skincare product and I’ve made a pact with myself to no longer expect bad juices. I trust that you can read between the lines here but if not - I won’t accept or allow people to talk me into things I do not want or did not ask for just because I feel bad or am worried about what they will think if I correct them. Because in the middle of the day when all I have time for is a juice, I do not want it to tastes like celery - I want carrot and I’m sure the bodega guy will understand.

wind down

Let's wind down. I know the past entries have been intense or at least they feel like that to me. So let's take a break from my super charged mind where everything is flying all over the place and settle on what's been filling my days lately. First off, yoga - so much of it. I practice at Greenhouse Holistic located in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. I've been going off and on for a year now. I had tried yoga in the past but now am a full believer that it does a lot of good, mind and body. Everyone in the office has a summer flu so I've been drinking a GT's kombucha daily to help warn off the bad bacteria floating around. With all the yoga and sick kids, the Fresh Sugar Face Polish has been keeping my skin aglow. I started reading, "Where'd you go Bernadette?" by Maria Semple on Sunday and am half way through. I had mentioned to my roommate that I was going to get a new book when she pulled this from her pile, it was the exact book I was going to pickup that afternoon! I'm smelling like Balenciaga L'Essence lately. I went through a very long trend of wearing Chloe Eau de Parfum but settling back into L'Essence which has woody notes blended with violet. Hope everyone is having a nice Tuesday. I'm feeling much more positive today with the sun out and shining. Much love.

the weight of getting older

So here's the thing about turning 27. You turn the corner on being able to eat whatever the hell you want. I'm telling you now so that when you get here, you know it ahead of time. Maybe you'll be lucky enough to make it to 28 or unlucky enough that 26 is when it happens but for me, it is 27.

I've always considered myself an active person. I run, lift weights, spin and even did boxing for about a year. Suddenly though out of no where I gained about 8 pounds and no matter how much I do or don't eat, no matter how hard I run myself into the ground, that scale will not move. 

So I tried "dieting." Quotes because I'm not a person who can diet or further more wants to. I hate being the person that eats salad while everyone else enjoys pasta. I don't like saying no to candy and I really hate not being able to visit my favorite bakery on 23rd street. So my diet was this; replace lunch with a green juice, drink more water, no more candy or bakery goods and no butter. Simple right? Sort of… except, nothing changed. Except my attitude which was annoyed and aggravated because all I could think about was rose macarons. So what do you do?

You stop looking at the scale. 

I run. I run really freaking hard and long on some days. I bike. I have a nifty single speed bike that means I can't cheat on hills with gears. I lift weights and jump around like a nut. I think you can classify this as CrossFit. I twist and bend in yoga. And I have stopped looking at the scale. After 5 days straight at the gym some weeks I feel like a brand new woman and what can ruin that moment isn't a cookie but that damn number.

But my jeans still fit the same and I still trot around in a bikini of vacation so at the end of the day, do those +8 pounds matter? Sometimes. Sometimes they bug me and make me select the non-fat yogurt rather than the 2%. But most of the time, they don't. Because I can eat macaroons with the understanding that I'm going to ride my bike a bit harder that day. That's okay with me. Because of all the vices I could have, +8 pounds isn't so bad.

where have you been

I'm such a hypocrite sometimes. There are a few blogs that I follow that I check, recheck and refresh and when there hasn't been anything updated for more than say, a day or so… it really bugs me. Yet here I am typing away and I haven't been updating suddenly lovely at all. Hopefully those of you who check back every once and a while haven't removed me from your bookmarks and care to know that I'm still here. 

I was away for a week in Florida. Enough sun and warmth to carry me through the rest of the 'winter' (I suppose technically it's spring). It was great but I was so happy to get back to NYC. I love the beach and water but at the end of the day, I love Manhattan more. I rode my bike down Metropolitan Avenue in Williamsburg smiling ear to ear. I went to yoga, stopped by Marlow and Sons for a honey scone and coffee and rode the rest of the way home not even minding the cold.

I've been working on freelance. I've been lucky enough to work with several awesome people who have shared their weddings, babies and bat mitzvahs with me. The best part is handing over the final piece and seeing their faces get all goofy and excited. Get goofy, it's such an awesome feeling.

I am back to running. I joined a gym and try to go after work during the week and at least once on the weekend. I was starting to drive myself crazy when I got home from work and all I would talk about was work and what was going well or more likely, not well. I could hear myself blabbing and just couldn't stop. Now going to the gym I get it out of my system by physically exhausting my emotional self. At the end of the day, it's just perfume and makeup.

One last note before I sign off and probably head to bed. I received the most lovely cards from friends this past birthday. For those of you who sent me little notes, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

two

 I feel like one of those parents who says good morning to their child and then half way through the day looks at the calendar to realize that today is their own child's birthday - and they forgot. Hurry to the store and get a cake, what was that something they wanted from that store, do they like chocolate or vanilla, over spend, over decorate, happy birthday! no we didn't FORGET we've been planning to surprise you all along!

Today is suddenly lovely's two year birthday. I've written 162 posts inspired from my past, present and future. They are babbles of mine that have turned into a place for me to recall recipes, places I've been and people I've known.

From the past year, below are the three posts that stuck out most to me.
The most truthful: Don't Stay
The most delish: Scrumptious Scone
STILL the most read: Naked Truth

I still am completely taken back when people reference suddenly lovely. It means so much that someone (anyone really) reads this. Thank you for reading, putting up with my bad grammar and spelling and for saying little things here and there to me about a post or picture that stuck with you. I hope that for maybe a few minutes a day at work while you have your lunch or need a break you can click around here and find something that you enjoy.

a week in brief

Stopping in briefly before I head into another meeting. The time between Halloween and New Years always flies by. Hopefully next week will be a little more calm and I can come back and blog about some things I've been thinking about. Here's a quick glimpse though of what I've been drinking, eating, listening to and smelling like. More soon, promise! Start right, top and go clockwise: Bottega Veneta, l'Occitane sheer butter hand cream, Softlips in Vanilla, San Pellegrino Spring Natural Mineral Water, "Sway" by The Kooks, Fage greek yogurt

checkpoint

 Midway plus a month or so and I'm checking in about those 25 goals I set on my birthday. Here's where they stand thus far:

1. Travel more  Yeah, be careful what you wish for
2. Make less excuses (oh crap, a bad start but I will get better) such a good goal to set
3. Go to more flea markets/antique fairs what up bk and uws
4. Spend more time kissing I don't kiss and tell
5. Train for the NYC marathon
6. Write more thank you notes lots to be thankful for
7. Learn to moon walk
8. Do more yoga
9. Keep up with this blog constantly trying
10. Visit the ballet
11. Take ballet
12. Make it to the beach come summer once counts I guess
13. Get a promotion at work Got a promotion and then a new job, double win
14. Donate more of my items clutter free
15. Spend less time being hungover
16. Drink way less sugar silly yet effective
17. Get my allergies (to almost everything) figured out
18. Pay off my credit card
19. Procrastinate less ready. set. go.
20. Spend more time with my sister but still happy to spend more
21. Go horseback riding more continue through the fall I hope
22. Learn to cook all the dessert recipes I save
23. Keep up with my journal (nerdy, I know)
24. Take a cooking class
25. Make more friends meeting more amazing people each day

14/25 is okay but still lots to do and think about. Half way to 26 is sort of scary but in a good way. As long as it's not 27 which is my "scary" age where I think I should be grown up or accomplish something grand. What's your scary age?

one

Today marks one year in blogging. Before I blow out those birthday candles though I'd like to make a toast. Ahem.

Thank you for reading. Sometimes when I seriously doubt anyone even reads anything I write, I get a very lovely surprise. I hear about my friends parents who visit my blog, my moms coworkers, my high school peers, others mention my blog or specific posts in conversations, people I don't know leave comments or send me messages. It means a lot to me, you have no idea.

Most of what I write has been inspired by conversations I've had with others. Friends, enemies, coworkers, strangers, family, the works. If we're having the conversation then I'm sure someone else out there is wondering about it too, which is why I write. Sometimes it's nice to know that there are people as nutty as you out there. I'm here to say that I support your nutty-ness, you are not alone.

I have for good reason never mentioned the names of those who I am writing about. Most of you probably wouldn't care but I would never want to subject anyone to anything I say. This is me putting myself out to the public, not me putting you out to the public. If you know me personally, I'm sure you can figure out who each post is inspired by. Some of you have even commented remembering the conversation you initially had with me that turned into a post. Thank you for the inspiration.

My favorite post: The Wave
Your favorite post based off of the stats: Naked Truth
The most useful post: Perfect Pair
The most delish post: Guac-mole-me
The most "real" post to write: How to treat a snake bite
The post that I can laugh at now that I've moved: Things that bump in the night

Special thanks to
My Mom Carol: Thanks for ALWAYS reading. You never miss one & I really appreciate that. I love you.
Matt & Xaiver: Thank you for fixing/answering my tech questions!
Kate & Mallory: For commenting and reading and being two of my very best friends ever. I love you both.

All my other friends: Thank you for having those conversations that have led to over 100 posts. I can't wait to see what sort of weirdo stuff we talk about next.

P.S. Suddenly Lovely is on facebook now if you'd like to be a fan :)

blonde ambition

I've been a busy bee the past few days and haven't gotten to post anything. I'm just checking in, saying hi, passing along a photo of two blondes (inspired by Mallory and I of course). I'm so pumped about her coming to visit tomorrow. Everyday since then has been filled with getting ahead at work, cleaning, shopping, freelance design and working my ass off at the gym. I'll have plenty to chat about after the weekend. Catch ya'll later! ;-)