let's get high

Have you ever taken a drive and arrived at your destination without knowing how you got there? You try to remember the last few minutes, if you stopped at all the stop signs, if you ran any red lights, if you were speeding, but nothing registers. Your mind was obviously somewhere else. This is why I run.

I began running when I graduated. Half because I wanted to explore some of the city I was living in and half because I didn't want to pay the high costs of a gym membership. What I discovered was I had a similar phenomena of arriving at a destination without fully being aware of how I had gotten there. The run always begins the same way. The first 5-7 minutes are a physical and emotional battle. A laundry list of things I need to do, people I need to call back, work that I still need to finish rip though me. My muscles are cold and my ankles ache. I skip every song on my ipod. From minute 7-12 I start to find my step. I find myself listening to my breathing, becoming aware of the way my foot hits the pavement. After minute 12 until the point where I find myself at the end of my playlist, at the finish line of my run, I am completely blank. The easiest way for me to explain the feeling is when you wake up from a realistic dream and you can remember everything yet nothing about it. It resonates as good or bad but then nothing. Your memory escapes and you are just left with a feeling.

My feeling is best described as light. I called bullshit on the rumored "runners high" until I realized, that's exactly what my body and mind does when I set in my pace and breathing. The downfall is that my body is unable to register when I've pushed myself too far. I end my run without feeling tired or sore and head back home to stretch and relax. 30 minutes later I'm singing a different tune. I realize that I've worn blisters into my feet, my hips feel like they've been cracked in half and I'm so thirsty that it feels like I might drown with all the water I drink. There is a still a debate about the truth of a runners high. Why some experience it and some do not and which environments, measures of time, speed and overall health promote it. Luckily unlike my previous example of driving a car without remembering if you stopped at a red light, running doesn't put anyone else in danger. I can float along for 50 or so minutes left with a blissful feeling of lightness.