8.28.2011

the loss of living

Sometimes it's not death that takes someone away from you but life. Moving away from your childhood town, leaving for college, and starting your adult life in another city are all physical moves that push you closer to some and further from others. What about emotional moves? Decisions that turn into gateways for some friendships or relationships but dead ends for others. We are never the same people we were in the past and we are forever changing. Sometimes that change, no matter what, pulls you further from the people you originally thought would always be there. Remember your first boyfriend/girlfriend and how you thought you'd be together forever? Maybe some of you are lucky enough to have that thought turn into reality but most of us aren't. You pass these people at different points in your life and realize that you both have changed into people who are barely recognizable from that 14 year old state. This is not the boy I drove around with singing Craig David's "Seven Days" (yes, it's true, I know every word).

Through all of my heartbreaks, I've never had a worse heartbreak than from a best friend. Boyfriends seem to come and go but my girlfriends are a constant in my life. I've realized that as we get older, my group of close friends shrink. Between work, boyfriends, and life in general, the time I spend with friends is more specific. As relationships and friendships fade or grow stronger I've let go of all negative feelings and move forward with the understanding that sometimes there is nothing else you can do.

This post is dedicated to Mallory who was my 7th grade enemy until she told all the mean girls to go to hell during lunch when I was told there was no room for me at their table. That's love.

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