one

Today marks one year in blogging. Before I blow out those birthday candles though I'd like to make a toast. Ahem.

Thank you for reading. Sometimes when I seriously doubt anyone even reads anything I write, I get a very lovely surprise. I hear about my friends parents who visit my blog, my moms coworkers, my high school peers, others mention my blog or specific posts in conversations, people I don't know leave comments or send me messages. It means a lot to me, you have no idea.

Most of what I write has been inspired by conversations I've had with others. Friends, enemies, coworkers, strangers, family, the works. If we're having the conversation then I'm sure someone else out there is wondering about it too, which is why I write. Sometimes it's nice to know that there are people as nutty as you out there. I'm here to say that I support your nutty-ness, you are not alone.

I have for good reason never mentioned the names of those who I am writing about. Most of you probably wouldn't care but I would never want to subject anyone to anything I say. This is me putting myself out to the public, not me putting you out to the public. If you know me personally, I'm sure you can figure out who each post is inspired by. Some of you have even commented remembering the conversation you initially had with me that turned into a post. Thank you for the inspiration.

My favorite post: The Wave
Your favorite post based off of the stats: Naked Truth
The most useful post: Perfect Pair
The most delish post: Guac-mole-me
The most "real" post to write: How to treat a snake bite
The post that I can laugh at now that I've moved: Things that bump in the night

Special thanks to
My Mom Carol: Thanks for ALWAYS reading. You never miss one & I really appreciate that. I love you.
Matt & Xaiver: Thank you for fixing/answering my tech questions!
Kate & Mallory: For commenting and reading and being two of my very best friends ever. I love you both.

All my other friends: Thank you for having those conversations that have led to over 100 posts. I can't wait to see what sort of weirdo stuff we talk about next.

P.S. Suddenly Lovely is on facebook now if you'd like to be a fan :)

anonymous design

When I was younger and still living with my parents I always thought in situations that didn't please me, "I will remember this for my own kids, I will never do that to them." Even then I knew I was being dramatic and usually I was able to see the point they were trying to make. Now that I'm at the old age of 25 I'm thinking about that situation in a different light. I'm talking about a situation that I bet 99% of designers face. The "when I'm an art director/creative director I will never do that to my designers/team" situation.

Have you ever had one of your bosses/managers/directors do something or say something that either made you want to fall to the floor in tears in frustration or hurl a desk across the room in anger? It's not criticism I'm talking about. I'm talking about owning your work and getting credit where credit is due. Let me set the scene for you.

It's understood that when you work for a brand that you will not be able to sign your work like a painter or sculptor would. You acknowledge that you work for Company X and that Company X will (hopefully) get praised for the project you slaved and obsessed over. Your name will not appear at the end of the commercial, at the bottom poster, on the lower right hand corner of the box. But throughout the company and to those in the industry, you will shine. How naive for a young designer like myself to think. I never realized how hurtful taking credit for the work of others could be until I had been in both situations.

As I stood in front of my concepts and designs this week in front of first my art director, then my senior director, then my marketing director and still more directors and presidents to follow I realized something. Those "fall to the floor in tears" situations swing both ways. Both when someone takes complete credit for the designs you've created and when someone 2, 3 or 4 levels above you looks you straight in the eye and says, "Wow. Wonderful. These are great." They pull others over, they talk about you in other meetings, they are happy that you are there to be a part of their team. Learning from now both situations I am putting this in the back of my head for when I reach my own design dream job as an art director one day.

Give credit to where credit is do. Celebrate those who did the work. Acknowledge their work. You have no idea how beat down you can get when the opposite happens.

I left work and cried. Out of relief. Out of complete happiness. The moment where my art director pointed to me when her boss asked who had worked on the concept. You have no idea how grateful I was for that moment. Those moments make me want to push forward even harder, to really shine even brighter next time. You could have hated it all but the fact that you said it was my work went above and beyond. Thank you.

dream on

Do any of you have reoccurring dreams? Places, people or situations that you come back to from time to time? I think that more often than not I dream. I wake up sometimes knowing exactly what the dream was about and sometimes I'm just left with a feeling. I wrote before about night terrors and how they come and go with my stress level. Dreams have always been an oddity to me, especially when I have déjà vu.

Do you ever wake up completely exhausted? This happened to me Monday morning when I had been asleep for more than 9 hours. Feeling tired and worn out from the weekend I crawled into bed early only to awake hours later feeling like I had been running a marathon through the night. I woke up with the memory of a reoccurring dream I have pretty often. Usually in the dream I am fighting someone but am unable to land a punch or do anything to defend myself but run in the opposite direction. I've been having this dream for so long that I can't remember when it even started. I push, I punch and try with all my strength but nothing makes my opponent flinch. Sunday night however, I was able for the first time to beat my opponent. The opponent often changes but is always a male figure. Usually he laughs at me and comes towards me stronger with every kick or punch I throw. I remember in the dream that the one thing that made him (whoever he is and stands for) back up, was me constantly moving forward towards him. The closer I got and the more confident I felt to move forward, the more he backed down. 

I know this sounds completely crazy but I wonder why out of all the times I've had this dream, why now was able to overcome this male figure? I could google the meaning all day but wouldn't come up with a thing to satisfy me I'm sure. Maybe it was the fact that I wasn't feel all that well and my body was trying to fight through whatever cold I have that made me have such a vivid dream. I doubt I'll ever know.

bergdorf blondes

Prior to my internship in the city, I had very limited knowledge and expectations. Sophomore year of college while on spring break in Miami, I hurriedly picked up "Bergdorf Blondes" before rushing onto my plane. Looking back I realize that this is how I came to imagined NYC. Full of socialites, luxe shopping, extravagant parties and extra perfect and glamorous women, this was the city I was determined to find myself in.

Now that I'm here I can't help but laugh. More than 5 times a day I gag because of the smell of garbage or a homeless person. Heels over 4" aren't realistic to trot around in and my feet look like they've been put through the lawn mower at the end of each week. The average size of engagement rings here are more than 80% larger than the rest of the world. And finally, you can be sitting next to a billionaire on the subway and not know it because it seems the richer you are here, the less you get to give a shit about how you look.

Nonetheless, I love it. I preach about Central Park and love that I can grab a cab at any hour to deliver me right where I need to be. For the third time I've decided to again read "Bergdorf Blondes." I love falling in love all over again with the magic of the city, even if some of it is a bit far fetched for a working girl like myself.

a loaded question

"Do you ever hate Ken?" Isabella had asked her friend Mary a couple of weeks ago. They were getting manicures on a Wednesday night after work and the question just came out. Ken was Mary's new boyfriend, a nice guy who made all of their friends comment, "Oh, there he is. That's what she's been waiting for," as if finding your perfect match was a guarantee as long as you were patient enough.

Mary raised her eyebrows and looked closely at a nail she'd just smudged.

"Hate him?" she asked.

"Yeah. Hate him." Isabella said. "The other night I looked at Harrison and I just...I don't know."

"I don't know if I ever hate him," Mary said. "But he sure bugs the living fuck out of me sometimes." 

* * * * * * 

A laugh-out-loud moment where I found myself nodding at my book and to myself on the subway. It was refreshing that I never had to say this out loud but someone else did and even took the time to write it into a book. Do you ever look at those around you, the ones you love and think, "What the hell am I doing hanging around with this person?" Yeah well me too, almost every other day.

(Girls in White Dresses by Jennifer Close)

lavender longing

Whenever I see a familiar scent listed as a food item on a menu I am always intrigued. For example, lavender. This strong, cozy scent is a favorite of mine that reminds me of home. While out to dinner this weekend at the legendary 21 Club in Manhattan, I ordered a Lavender-lime rickey which was simply listed as a combination of Tanqueray, fresh lime and lavender syrup. I've had food before that's been infused with lavender but never anything so strong. I highly recommend visiting the restaurant if you're visiting or live in the city. The "rickey" would be a perfect drink to serve with brunch.

thefty shopping

Have you ever stole anything? Better yet, have you ever had anything stolen from you by a complete stranger? I'm not talking about your sibling nabbing something from your closet, I'm talking gone for good. I've never stolen anything but last year my leather jacket was swiped from me while out in the city. Now I take responsibility for not checking my coat at check-in but I was less than 10 feet from it the entire night and have definitely been more careless a million times before. The thing about this jacket was it was the first big purchase that  I made entirely for myself when I moved to Manhattan. I saved up all my birthday money and cut way back to buy this thing. It meant something to me. It was a "I'm-23-in-fucking-manhattan-hear-me-roar" piece. I loved it. I wore it constantly. It was the second favorite thing I've ever owned (the first being a gold bracelet from December 1986 engraved with 'Toni' that still fits me). I cried. Hard. It floors me to this day that someone would take something that didn't belong to them. I tried to think that they really needed that jacket or maybe it really was a mistake but it was never returned to the restaurant/club/bar and therefore I believe now that they did it on purpose. This weekend I semi-replaced that jacket with a new one. It's similar and I'm sure I'll grow to love it but I have a feeling that I won't be as attached to it as I was my last one. I'm trying to think of it as my "I'm-25-just-landed-my-dream-job-and-still-loving-manhattan" jacket but it doesn't have the same ring to it. As we've been over before, I believe in karma so who knows where the person who swiped my jacket ends up. In the meantime, I'll be breaking in my new edition.

gentlemen don't wear shorts, ladies don't chug

Where do you fall when it comes to dating etiquette? Are you a do-it-all-gal where as you hail your own cabs, open your own doors and make the first move? Or are you ore the traditional wait for him to take your coat, pull out your chair and order for you? Personally every relationship I've been in has been different from the last. And with each, my expectations changed. Some men forgot to help me out of the car but always remembered my favorite ice cream. Some have held the door but forgot to hold my hand.

What is the perfect blend? I believe in an equal partner equation. You get what you give. Pick me up late, in shorts, without making any sort of plan for the night? Odds are that you're going to get less than 50% of my attention that night. Show up on time, dressed appropriately, with a game plan and a smile, I'm 100% yours. It's not chiverly I'm after, but the effort makes all the difference. What about the same effort put forth for men too? Maybe sometimes girls are to blame. If you are chugging a beer and looking like a slob, expect to be treated like one. Remember his favorite place to eat, that dress he loved on you or take the time to learn something about something he's into.

Of course everyone's preferences are different. It takes someone damn near perfect and special to make you realized that they are what you've been missing without even knowing it. Regardless, do one thing today that makes your girl or guy remember why they are with you.